Dearest Grieving Daughter,

I am writing you this letter on the Eve of my 7th Mother’s Day without my mother, and my 14th Mother’s Day, married, without a child.   And this is the first year in the past 7 that I am approaching Mother’s Day doing “just fine.”  I have been doing SO fine, in fact,  that I have been surprised. Leading up to this weekend, I have been checking myself regularly, and giving myself space to feel the weight of  emotions  that I typically have learned to expect and make space for during this time of year, but I haven’t been able to find my usual sorrowful outpouring of silent, private tears,  nor can I find my usual “May” visitors,  PAIN, SHAME, and DEFEAT.  I don’t share that with you to boast of myself or my own strength. I don’t share it as a badge of honor, to say,  “Look at me,” no, I decided to begin this letter sharing this with you because I am a testimony of what God will do for His Daughters who find themselves in the throes of sorrow.

As I searched for Tears,  Pain, Shame, and Defeat, I found instead, a burden on my heart for you,  God’s Grieving Daughters. Women who have come to dread this time of year completely. Women  who don’t feel like there is much to “celebrate” this weekend. So I wanted to write you a letter to tell you that you are not forgotten, and to assure you that there is  indeed hope on the other side of your pain.  I want to be very clear,  this letter is not only intended for women who have lost a mother to death.  I am also writing to women who have had to live with the pain of barrenness,  women whose mothers are alive, but they are estranged from them,  women who have buried children, or lost them to the judicial system in the form of incarceration,  and women who are raising their children to the best of their ability,  Continue reading →